Hello all!
As this post title suggests, I've been missing in action for quite some time now and I think it's about time I got back to it...
For lots of different and personal reasons, I've found it very hard to put thoughts and feelings down on this blog, and I've definitely been suffering from writers block. I won't dwell too much on the negatives of taking time out from blogging, and designing in general, and especially not on the reasons for this break...I would, however, like to talk about the most important thing I have learned and the next steps I'm about to take...
In the hopes of not sounding too sentimental and emotional, I will keep this post short and sweet!
When I finished university in June I made the decision to take a year out, with the hope of regaining a little more control of my life and to build up the confidence I had lost in the last few months of my course. Most of the summer, this seemed to be the right choice. I reignited my love for Thomas Hardy, learned to ease my stress with baking and, most importantly, how to enjoy the little things.
However, in this past month I have found that something is missing and I continually have this sinking feeling that something is not right...Of course, how am I to fix this when I have no idea what it is, right?
It wasn't until a a week ago, faced with a blank page, ready to write my next post when it hit me. Designing. Textiles. Pattern. Colour. I missed it all. I was still looking, longing and thinking about these things, but somehow my life had gotten too busy for me to do much more then that, just think. I was too consumed with this idea of reducing my stress levels, panicked that I would loose it again if I was to do too much, yet here I was...with no deadlines, no worries and no expectations and I was more unhappy then ever. I hadn't really thought about what this break was for or , as it turns out, what I would be giving up in the process.
I always cringe when people say that they've "changed who they are" and have become "a new person"...and for the most part, I still think that. In fact, I disagree with those statements even more, because right now I feel more myself then I have for a long time now.
Getting too sentimental now...
Okay. So what does that mean now? Well, now I know the problem, and - in true Jessica-style - now I can try and fix it. And so I am trying to gain a place back at my university to complete my Ba in Textile Design, this year. Its definitely difficult, and will mean big changes for not just myself but the people around me, but thankfully they're nothing but supportive.
It's taken me a while to understand why people say it's so important to do something that you love...perhaps thats because, until now, I didn't know what it was that I loved doing...
Jessica :)
Here is just one of the many quotes that pushed me to make this decision...
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| Found on Pinterest through the page http://madeofsparkles.tumblr.com |
